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Saturday, March 16th, 2002
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| Time: | 3:00 pm. |
| Music: | coheed and cambria - delirium trigger. |
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just some random shit about things i don't really care about. i think, in my travels, i've come to find the difference between hardcore tori fans and hardcore ani fans. the tori ones aren't ready to grow up yet, or at least, retain lots of child-like qualities. the ani fans tend to grow up too fast, and take on too many things before they're ready.
and its not like its some amazingly apparent trait in the music of the singer. just if you listen, tori is more whimsical and childish (which doesn't downplay the severity of her music, just changes it) whereas ani is more experience, less metaphor.
then of course you have the bjork fans, which seem to all be guys (don't be offended female bjork fans) gay or straight, doesn't matter. and liz phair fans, who are like, super psycho sexual beings and all of that gorgeous crap.
hm, why did i type this again?
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Comments: 20 devils - on my side.
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Wednesday, March 13th, 2002
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Thursday, February 28th, 2002
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so yeah. nineteen years of pure shit. nothing built upon nothing built upon nothing. but for some reason or another, tonight an "i love you" makes it all seem worthwhile. i'd live all nineteen years over again to have this night repeat itself.
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Comments: 1 devil - on my side.
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Friday, February 22nd, 2002
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2002
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Tuesday, February 19th, 2002
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GinHot6: you into 3somes?
youblindingstars: never been in a threesome before
GinHot6: never?
GinHot6: ever want one?
GinHot6: wanted to start a 3some in NY
look how popular i am!
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Comments: 1 devil - on my side.
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| Time: | 2:01 am. |
| Music: | bats & mice - a safe bet. |
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i miss basic physical interaction with someone. and i don't mean casual hugs in the hallways, or random disappointing acts of friendship.
fuck.
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Comments: 2 devils - on my side.
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Saturday, February 16th, 2002
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AND NOW I JUST DELETED MY ENTIRE FUCKING BUDDYLIST EXCUSE ME WHILE I SHOOT MYSELF
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Comments: 2 devils - on my side.
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someone new just IMed me and i clicked the box that wasn't accept by mistake. fucker.
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Comments: 1 devil - on my side.
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i need to stop looking up random journals and correcting spelling.
who is going to see Thursday and company at the sahara on the 21st?
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Comments: 1 devil - on my side.
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Friday, February 15th, 2002
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| Time: | 12:13 am. |
| Music: | preventf falls - the ephemeral feeling of hostility. |
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how is it i am able to pick the sadness out of every song i hear, or story i read - then apply it to myself? its a curse. so many things are so overwhelming. its bigger than me, its bigger than depression, its bigger than you, too. and it hits me sometimes, like a fucking jet plane. i understand things change, and even more so, i understand things stay the same. but why does it hurt? stephen you're right. i'm stronger than i think sometimes. but i also know i have a breaking point, just like everyone else. there are things that have happened that i can never forget and never change. the actuality of forever hits me harder than i'd like it to.
everyone always comments on how they read their journals now and they can't believe how they said or felt or thought a certain thing or way before. what i notice is that i'm exactly the same, only older. still lonely, still hurt, still everything i thought i'd escape from by getting rid of my old music/belongings/friends. and i could sit here and try to convince myself that time heals all wounds, but i don't think i have another six months of my life to waste feeling like a little less than nothing. i'm trying my hardest not to fall into old patterns and feel old feelings, but its hard when just looking at my fingers makes my heart riot. and... you know what? i don't know why i'm still typing this..
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Comments: 4 devils - on my side.
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Saturday, February 2nd, 2002
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Friday, February 1st, 2002
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note: the comment about kylie minogue was posted by my asshole friend. thank you, that is all.
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Comments: 5 devils - on my side.
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whoa. kylie minogue is sexy as fuck.
too bad she makes shitass music.
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Comments: 2 devils - on my side.
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Wednesday, January 30th, 2002
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kyle converses with people at the bus stop:
stupid bitch: ::points to my hair:: eww, i can't believe you were stupid enough to do something that ugly
kyle: i can't believe you were ugly enough to say something that stupid.
guy standing next to me: yo, why are these bitches talking shit about your hair?
kyle: keyword: bitches
stupid bitch: ::walks off::
guy: ::boards bus::
kyle: ::boards bus::
oh, good times are to be had at the bus stop
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Comments: 9 devils - on my side.
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Tuesday, January 29th, 2002
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| Time: | 6:31 pm. |
| Mood: | upset. | | Music: | poison the well - slice paper wrists. |
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everyone should die.
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Comments: 4 devils - on my side.
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longgoodnight's journal